2002-02-05-11:37 p.m.

So I've been waiting for this Christmas present to arrive from my friend in Windsor. I got it today, or should I say I got what was left of it today.

It was postmarked by CanadaPost on December 24th.

Today I got what was left of it in an envelope from the USPS Loose-In-Mails Section. Which amounted to the letter my friend wrote stapled to a USPS Parcel Search Request form.

It reads:

"Dear Customer-

Found in the mail was an empty wrapper [empty envelope] with your address which is believed to have been separated from a parcel during handling.

If the contents of the parcel have not been accounted for and you wish that a search be made for the article(s) please complete the bottom and reverse of this form and return it to the Dead Parcel Branch in the enclosed preaddressed envelope."

Basically what they are telling me is:

Dear Customer-

Since your package originated in Canada and was subject to Customs Detailed description of contents, and we saw that it was candy and one CD, more than likely, one of our employees took it upon themselves to confiscate it as their own.

If you want to attempt a fruitless search for your item(which has likely been eaten and CD stolen), please fill out this form and send it to P.O. Box 172000 (which is probably the trash can).

At least they saved the letter for me to read...

d.