2005-09-20-12:54 p.m.

I'm a bit of a social misfit.

I'm not complaining about it, only stating it as fact. I don't do well in groups of people really. I do things generally on terms I set. I guess that makes me hard to deal with. Usually I'm the one that says, "You guys stay out, I'm going home." Leaving my counterparts miffed at my lack of group interaction.

I'm not always like that, and I don't cry when I don't get my way. I just have a general rule of thumb that states, "If you don't want to be somewhere, if you can leave, don't complain about how bad or uncomfortable it was, just leave." If I have the ultimate control over the decision, why wait for someone else to make it for me.

Maybe that sounds very arrogant. It's not meant to be. It's just a fact of life. Part of what makes me a a bit anti-social or be seen that way.

There's all these, "Don't fit in" crowds that act crazy, dress crazy, whatever, which basically draws attention to them, so I guess they're like screaming "I don't fit in, how about them apples?!" A badge of honor I guess.

Not fitting in is easy for me.

Trying to go unnoticed not fitting in is a little bit of a chore. I don't mind being the invisible man, I'm sort of getting used to it. It's comfortable to me...not being noticed. I only really want to leave a lasting impression on people I love, trust, respect, or people who show me the common courtesy I show them.

Outside of that, the less you remember me, the better. Because if you aren't on the above list, trust me, I'm trying my hardest to get you out of my mind and my life.

(all you out there who have interacted with me lately, this doesn't necessarily mean because we haven't been in contact I don't care about you. Just y'know, we're all busy, I still think about you all, I do, so don't worry. We'll catch up, we always do.)

color me clear.

my hero is keyser soze

"and like that, *pfoo*, he's gone"